Blog – Page 2

My 10 year old sling

July 30, 2012 by Angela 2 Comments

This is my sling that has lasted 10 years and 3 children. It’s my woobie.

I took all the kids out after lunch today to run errands. We made it to the post office before my almost 3 year old took the hand of my almost 10 year old in the back seat of the car & fell asleep. This is a heart exploding moment as it is.

We decided to go ahead to our next stop. I brought out my trusty sling. And then it hit me – this sling is 10 years old. It has carried my oldest as a toddler & my next 2 babies since they were newborns until they were well into toddlerhood. It has seen so much work in so many countries in so many different kinds of weather. I’ve breastfed and fed cookies (fishing crumbs out of my bra every step of the way) & had a snack for momma too. So many hours of sleeping babies in this sling. I’ve had prenatal & postnatal appointments with clients, teaching breastfeeding, babywearing & cloth diapering classes in this sling. Playdates, parties, shopping, cooking, baking, laundry, moving, packing & unpacking, pta meetings, volunteering in the classroom, support groups, vacations & walks, many many many walks. The list is endless.

I bought 2 crappy, really crappy box store excuses for babywearing devices when my oldest was born. Such a waste of money, frustration, time and fabric. But I knew there had to be something better out there. She was a baby you just couldn’t put down. I knew babywearing worked but I had tried to save money & cut corners in the wrong way. These didn’t work for us. I could have easily made my own sling but wasn’t confident enough until much later.

When I was pregnant with my 2nd baby I found the right people to talk to and the right place to look at what I call a real sling. And so, I bought my sling, my Maya Wrap. It has been, & always be, my go to. So easy to slip on, slide a baby in & just keep on going. The learning curve was minimal & within days of my 2nd baby being born I felt like an old pro. And I wore him for 3 1/2 years. The last time I remember wearing him was when we were in Rome. He was sick & we had a tour of the Vatican scheduled. We decided to try it & I would go back to the hotel if things deteriorated. My trusty Maya Wrap was at the bottom of my backpack. He decided he needed to hap as his fever ramped up again. At 3 1/2 & a good 35 lbs or so he curled up on my chest, the sling came out & he slept through the entire tour. I don’t remember how many hours it was, but it was quite a few. He woke up, his fever broke & we continued on the day.

Today, as baby #3 snoozed away while we shopped for school supplies I kissed her little head in the same place it’s been for the last almost 3 years, just below my chin. Right where all babies should be – close enough to kiss. I realize these times are fleeting & I don’t know how many more there will be, but I will cherish every single one of them. I’m so grateful that I didn’t give up on babywearing. It’s made my life so much easier, and so much easier for my children to be where they wanted to be, where they needed to be.

I’ve expanded my babywearing library to other wraps, slings, pouches & soft-structured carriers, and I love them all for different reasons. But my hand always goes back to this sling. There’s not a thread popped & it’s soft with years of use. Sure it’s a just a tad bit faded, but I know this, when I am blessed with grandbabies, this will be the first thing I pull out to snuggle the next generation of our family. Soft, warm, fuzzy little heads resting under my chin.

Creating a Birth Plan

July 18, 2012 by Angela 1 Comment

Coming to your care provider or place of birth with a birth plan in hand isn’t as uncommon as it once was 10-15 years ago. You even find auto-generating birth plans and outlines all over the internet. In reality, most birth plans (or wishes or desires, however you word it) are pretty similar. Most women want to be left to labor & birth with the least amount of intervention, with the people they feel most close to and will give the most support, and to keep their babies close after the birth. Pretty simple, right?

That being said there are still care providers who scoff & huff at the idea of planning or asking for anything at birth. I was on a hospital tour with a client recently where the nurse actually laughed & said, “Good Luck with that!” It took us all by surprise, like, did we hear her correctly?

There are a few ways to help your birth plan be read by the hospital staff on duty when you come in for your birth.

Double check your content. Leave out things like “I’d like to labor at home as long as possible.” You’re already left your home so you’ve likely already done this. Or “I’d like to discuss induction methods if I am to have a scheduled induction of labor.” This is a conversation you are more likely to have during an appointment with your provider and should be on a separate list to discuss with your provider. Also, when you are not birthing at home you will need to take into account what is available to you at the birthing facility you’ve chosen. You can’t ask to labor in a tub if the facility doesn’t have tubs for laboring. Doing this kind of editing will help the next point.
Keep your plan as short as possible. Write out what you feel are the the most important points. This way you can try to keep your plan to a single page. The less there is to read the more likely the staff will be willing to read it.
Ensure you aren’t repeating yourself through the document.
Try to keep your plan organized. If the person reading it doesn’t jump from how you’d like to labor to delaying initial immunizations, to how you’d like to push, they will be more likely to read and follow through with your wishes.
Consider writing separate plans for a cesarean birth, care for baby while in the hospital for the postpartum period or in the event the baby’s health is compromised.

So why bother writing a plan if no one will read it? Well, someone will read it, but the most important reason to write it out is that it creates a dialog between you, your partner, your doula, & your care providers. You can hash out what policies you can’t get around at your birthing facility and which might have a little wiggle room. There may be something you hadn’t thought about before that may change your thoughts on a procedure or practice. You and your partner may find that you don’t see eye to eye on a particular event, procedure or policy. This gives you time to talk about and research these things well before they might become a reality. No, you can’t predict the outcome of birth, but you can talk about the many facets & be prepared for most eventualities so that in the moment you feel confident to discuss and move on to the next step.

Flats Challenge Day 7: Reflections

May 27, 2012 by Angela Leave a Comment

This is the culmination of the Second Annual Flats and Handwashing Challenge hosted by Dirty Diaper Laundry. For 7 days I have used only flat cloth diapers and handwashing them in an effort to prove that cloth diapering can be affordable and accessible to all. You can learn more about the rules and why this challenge was started by visiting the announcement post. This year there are over 45o participants from all over the world!

This last entry is late coming in. Being this is a holiday weekend and my husband is home, we’ve spent a lot of family time together this weekend. The blog posts are being written later & later. We took our flats and swim diapers out to the water park today so I’m just getting to this tonight. 🙂 Hey, DH isn’t in the Middle East, it’s all fair game, especially on a weekend like this one.

I really wish I had tried this challenge last year. But you can’t change the past so I am really glad I did do it this year.

For those that don’t already know I am also a Circle Leader for the Real Diaper Association. There has been a tremendous amount of discussion about helping the less fortunate in our respective communities spurred most recently by Giving Diapers, Giving Hope, the non-profit Kim from DDL is making a donation to at the end of this challenge. Direct diaper donations are not within the mission of the RDA. However, some really smart people have found a way to work with other, well-established organizations to educate & donate to these families in our communities.

I began taking donations to start a similar program here during The Great Cloth Diaper Change in April. While thinking about what to teach before the diapers are distributed I decided that I had to take part in the flats handwashing challenge. I could talk about the economical value and how to use flats, no problem, but I didn’t feel like I could talk about handwashing diapers without having any practical experience. I’ve only been doing this a week but I can see a few applications. There’s camping & vacations, lack of power, transitioning between homes, & not having a washing machine in the home. Even if you can get to a laundry mat once a week or every 2 weeks, washing by hand at home in between is absolutely a viable option. Yes, it’s hard work & yes, it takes some time & yes, there was a day or two I didn’t want to do it this week. But it can be done. And now, if I ever have to help a family learn to wash diapers by hand, I can say I know first hand how it’s done.

The last load of flats were washed after we returned from our watery adventure this afternoon & is still out on the deck in the dusk, drying. Am I ready to put my diapers back in the washer, yeah, a little bit. But I’ll say it again, I’m glad I made the decision to take part in the challenge this year. I’m honored to take party with so many dedicated cloth diaper advocates & enthusiasts. Take a minute to read the reflections of other participants by clicking the link below. And thanks for following along this week. 😀

Flats Challenge Day 6: Nearing the End

May 26, 2012 by Angela Leave a Comment

These are all the little people in my family I cloth diapered…minus my sister. 🙂

I am taking part in the Second Annual Flats and Handwashing Challenge hosted by Dirty Diaper Laundry. For 7 days I will be using only flat cloth diapers and handwashing them in an effort to prove that cloth diapering can be affordable and accessible to all. You can learn more about the rules and why this challenge was started by visiting the announcement post. This year there are over 45o participants from all over the world!

One of the most difficult aspects of this challenge for me was not so much the actual washing, but deciding to blog the adventure. I not only committed to hand washing flats for a week, but to blog about it every.single.day. too. Normally I blog on a whim. A story or an issue brought up leads me to talk about it on my blog. I try to do it on a semi-regular basis, but I’m absolutely NOT a blog every week let alone a blog every day kinda gal. Mostly it’s the time commitment & the whole type up something that is somewhat coherent that people who are not in my head can follow along without too much translation.

It’s the 2 year old really. The wee nymph who is the one subjected to my experiment this week of flats. She is a tiny little ball of energy & want someone to interact with her all the time. Who can blame her? The bigs will generally give me time when I ask them for it, but you can’t ask that of a 2 year old. Or at least not for very long.

The other thing I’ve realized this week is that if I can carve out time to hand wash flats & to blog about it, I can carve out more time to take care of me. I haven’t been very good about that recently & made a commitment to myself this year to change that, even if it’s in small steps. If I gave myself the time to exercise they way I gave myself time to do this challenge I could make a big difference in a very short amount of time. I’m not getting any younger & time isn’t slowing down one bit.

Flats Challenge Day 5: Things I’ve Learned to Date

May 25, 2012 by Angela Leave a Comment

I am taking part in the Second Annual Flats and Handwashing Challenge hosted by Dirty Diaper Laundry. For 7 days I will be using only flat cloth diapers and handwashing them in an effort to prove that cloth diapering can be affordable and accessible to all. You can learn more about the rules and why this challenge was started by visiting the announcement post. This year there are over 45o participants from all over the world!

I’m going to start with the obvious. This challenge is much easier when you have

an older baby.
a baby that is willing to poop on the toilet.
older kiddles who can fold flats.
a plunger for the bucket.
bright sunny days.
gloves.
Wool.

I didn’t expect to still be this happy using flats. Nor did I expect to pick up yet another fold & LOVE IT! Kim posted this fold on DDL yesterday called the Jo Fold & it’s fantastic. You can use it with pins, Boingos or Snappi. Finally, a fold my DH can get behind!

Ah yes, my DH abhors pinning diapers. This has been a pain this week.

My mainstay is normally prefolds and a nice little stash of hemp fitteds. But I could just as easily do without them.

I really do love wool. I love to make soakers & I love to use them. PUL is great, fleece is great, but wool wins me over time & time again. It doesn’t get as stinky as the synthetic covers as quickly so it doesn’t need to be washed as often. It can also absorb a bit if the diaper is a bit too wet. It breathes like no other. Did I mention how much I love wool? This challenge only cements my adoration.

When washing in the washer it’s better to have a more full load. When washing by hand it’s better to have a much smaller load. It’s also pretty easy to know when your diapers are clean & rinsed. When it’s damp, humid or raining, wringing well is your friend – this is where gloves come into play. Also, since I forgot to get a plunger while I was out today, I am still literally washing by hand. I wish my gloves were a little longer, but shorter gloves work in a pinch. It’s a good idea to turn the gloves inside out & put them out with the diapers to dry on a hot sweaty day like today, or, if you got water in them while washing like I did.

I wished I hadn’t waited to try this challenge. If I knew what I know now about this process I would have brought all the flats & used a bucket when we returned to the States last fall while we were in temporary housing. The machines available in billets were awful & often in use. The laundry mat was expensive, often busy & the front loaders I preferred to use were broken more often than not. Handwashing would have been a very viable option during that transition time.

Yes, handwashing takes some time, but it’s doable. Very doable.

eta** In the time it took me to post this entry the flats had dried in the sun. Hooray!**

See what others have to say about what they’ve learned. Clink the link below.

Flats Challenge Day 4: How’s it going?

May 24, 2012 by Angela Leave a Comment

So we’ve made it to about the half way point & things are going ok. I still haven’t replaced my plunger yet so I’ve been literally washing by hand in the bucket. Truth be told on day 2 we didn’t have any diapers because the wee nymph who allows us to wrap her in the fluff (if I say her name it’s all over, you realize this, right?) successfully used the toilet for over 24 hours. Day 3 wasn’t as lucky, but I still only had a few diapers to wash. I’m so glad I picked up gloves to save my hands or I’m quite sure I would be miserable at this point. I did manage to stab a finger last night just before going to bed with the pin. Tired much? I wouldn’t say washing by hand is a walk in the park by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s not impossible.

It’s been rainy & humid making even flats dry slowly but they’ve still dried much faster than prefolds or fitteds would. I had a straggler prefold & fitted in the first wash that didn’t make it in the washer before the challenge started. Holy Dampness Batgirl! I could wring the flats a little tighter or roll them in a towel & press extra water out & that would be helpful. But with said wee nymph so busy, it’s hard to care out dedicated wash time. The process happens in bits & chunks. Much like writing the blog. It’s a wonder any of this makes sense. But I’m still chugging along.

Check out how others are doing & click the button below.

Flats Challenge Day 3: You want me to fold it HOW?

May 23, 2012 by Angela Leave a Comment

I remember folding & pinning diapers to my little sister back in the late 70’s, vinyl pants and all. My mom showed me how to do it & I just did it. It wasn’t scary. So why have I avoided flats for the better part of my 12 years of motherhood except to use as an emergency burp cloth? Enter peer/societal influence. Convenience is the name of the game and according to the majority of people around me, flats are in no way convenient & are way too hard to deal with and too time consuming!

Wrong.

Folding flats is only as difficult as you make it. In fact, I only FINALLY figured out the kite fold after a year of trying at our recent Circle Meeting. I had a complete block, but one of the other mommas was just folding away & had an AH-HA moment. I followed her lead & finally, success. Granted, with the advent of sites like You Tube & the proliferation of cloth diaper sites & blogs you can get your folding questions answered rather quickly without ever leaving your house.

Diaper on the left is Origami Fold & the right is Diaperbag Fold.

We use wool soakers for the most part so we pin & cover. My go to fold is the Origami fold. My older kids love it too. This is good because DH gets this glazed look on his face trying to do it. He will do it but a bit begrudgingly so having the older ones able to fold the diapers is a huge plus if my hands are busy (and when aren’t they?).

I discovered the Diaperbag fold on the DDL site while preparing for our last Circle Meeting & I really like this one too, but it’s not “look, no hands” fold yet. I still need to reference directions for it. One leg it has up on the Origami fold is I feel like it’s more Snappi friendly for some babies. With plain old woven flats (oh whoa is me) the thin material makes me leery to use a Snappi more times than not. But you can fold the Diaperbag fold so there are more layers for the Snappi legs to catch & I worry less about pinching or poking the baby.

Want to know how others fold their flats? Click the button below.

Flats Challenge Day 2: Disaster Strikes

May 22, 2012 by Angela 1 Comment

Ok, not exactly disaster, but a big disappointment anyway. At least I had already done the majority of the washing & was into my rinse cycle. I thought that I put too many holes in my plunger, but it broke off at the base, not where the holes were. What you really don’t realize is that I am built like The HULK and don’t realize my own strength. (Come on, that was at least a little funny!)

So my supply cost went up a bit & I bought a pair of $3.50 gloves to finish rinsing and to wring with. I’m glad I saw some other posts about hands being raw from wringing out diapers. I have sensitive (HULK) hands & it doesn’t take but a quick change in temperature or forgetting to wear gloves to wash dishes before they start looking lizard-like only to quickly start cracking. And I’m gonna have to go get another plunger tomorrow. I only had time to run to the grocery store today & they didn’t have any plungers.

The good news is the plumbing bill I eluded to yesterday wasn’t outrageous & I managed to get the diapers finished in time to spend some time in the sun on my trusty German drying rack out on the deck. It was supposed to storm today but hasn’t yet & I’m taking advantage of every second of sun.

So what else am I using? Some old as dirt Gerber flats that I used with my almost 12 year old when she was born for burp cloths, complete with spit up stains, a couple of generic German flats, and about a dozen unbleached flats from a co-op. There is a solitary pin that is in constant use. Somewhere there are 7 others, but because I want to use them I can’t find them. I have some fleece topped hemp doublers in reserve in case I need them at night. And to top it all off there are various soakers made by yours truly and a fleece wrap or two I bought from a WAHM when my 9 year old was in diapers. I’m still using my trusty Rockin’ Green Hard Rock, just in much smaller quantities. And I found out today I could use even less!

It’s not all a complete disaster. I even figured out how to get the lid on all the way finally. I have issues, I know, but aren’t you having fun reading about it all?

Flats Challenge 2012 Day 1

May 21, 2012 by Angela 6 Comments

Last year I thought about taking part in the Flats Challenge, but I had hit the EOD…End Of Deployment Wall. My husband had been gone for more than 10 months & I was burnt out to a crisp. I did, on the other hand, discuss and demonstrate flats as the monthly topic of our cloth diapering group. It helped get a lot of moms thinking about using something other than what they were using. And because we all lived in Europe, it got them thinking about how to better travel with cloth diapers. Not a bad trade off.

So this year I’m teetering on the edge. My dd is finally beginning to use the toilet more & so if I’m going to do this challenge, it has to be now. I even made a camp bucket washer last night much to the delight of my older children who watched the how-to videos with me last year & can also origami fold like a pro. The older ones are actually my favorite prop. Inspired by YouTube videos, they race to see who can do the origami fold the neatest, the fastest. (Score one for mom!) I expect fights over the bucket at some point. (This will be score two for mom)

Because the NOVA Real Cloth Diaper Circle started taking donations of cloth diapers for area families in need during the Great Cloth Diaper Change I hope to grasp a better understanding of cloth diapering in conditions less than ideal during this challenge. Instead of just talking about how to wash if you don’t have a washing machine, I’m going to do it.

My expenses so far are: bucket – $2.60, lid – $1.28, plunger – $5.99, for a total of $9.87. Everything else I have on hand.

The irony of it all…it’s raining and the toilet in my bathroom isn’t filling with water correctly so now I have to call the plumber. Hopefully saving some cash by not washing with the washer & dryer will help with that. 😛 Typical.

What you know

May 7, 2012 by Angela 1 Comment

As in many professions, when someone finds out what you do for a living, a story comes out &/or you are effectively pumped for information. For birth professionals, it is inevitably a story dump – a disappointing or traumatic birth, bad hospital stay, inability to breastfeed, you name it, it all comes out.

What I’ve discovered is that most moms just need validation. Simply, “You did the best you could with the information you had.” This is not a condescending pat on the head. It’s a rare for a mom to hear this simple phrase from anyone. What is more likely to happy is the person listening breaks into their own tirade. More about that in a minute. We all find out more information we could have used for a birth, breastfeeding or parenting experience after the fact & then are guilty of beating ourselves up later for it (hand held high here). We have to break this cycle.

But how do we do this?

Let the experience be what it is & let it go. Debrief with a trusted person who isn’t just going to be your bobble-head. It may take some time, allow yourself that time. Be gentle with yourself. Learn from it, but don’t dwell on it. This is not the one experience that will define you as a parent if you don’t let it. Rather, use it to shape what is to come. Share your story, but not as the scary Oh-Em-Gee story you tell to every pregnant or new mom, at every baby shower, at every gathering of moms. This practice infuriates me. People gather to celebrate a birth but then use it to play “My story is worse than yours” or “This will be the worst experience of your life”. Why? There is enough misinformation & fear-mongering. Rather, tell your story to gently educate others. Explain what you have learned. Pass your experience in a way that can help someone else avoid the same situation. Finally,if you know your experience has left you with post traumatic stress, find a professional who specializes in this work to counsel you through your experience. This is a real condition and it requires real help.

If you intend to have more children, research, research, research before your next birth. Do not just rely on anecdotal information, hospital based childbirth classes, mainstream websites & books. Seek out all the information you can find. Go beyond your comfort bubble. Pay for a private educator who isn’t going to give you the hospital party line. Look for evidence based information – there is a difference. A couple of good places to start: Science and Sensibility and Childbirth Connection.

Research your care provider & birth location. You cannot expect a hands off, physiologically normal birth from a provider who is known for highly interventive practices. It’s just not going to happen. You cannot change them. Same goes for birth facilities. If you want to use water during labor or a water birth, you can’t choose a hospital with tiny, regular sized American style tubs it’s simply not possible. If they will not allow you to have your choice of support people, or allow your preferred comfort measures that is a Big Red Flag to look elsewhere. A couple of great sites to do research: The Birth Survey and Cesarean Rates. Also, look to your state’s Department of Heath vital statistics to see an overall snapshot of the births reported around you. Virginia’s can be found here.

Set your support team in place during your pregnancy. Hire a doula. Yes I’m obviously biased, but the evidence is out there for you to see in black & white. Don’t forget your lactation team for breastfeeding support, postpartum doula after your birth, know your area resources for postpartum depression, massage therapy, cranial-sacral or chiropractic care, area mother’s groups, etc. Even if you don’t need them or use them, do your research so if you do need any of them you know exactly who to contact. Too often a mom realizes she needs help & is so overwhelmed she doesn’t know where to start. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve gotten a tearful phone call from a mother or a frantic call from a father looking for breastfeeding help NOW.

Which brings me to my next point: don’t wait until the last minute to call for help. If it looks like you need some help, pick up the phone before desperation sets in. You’re not bothering anyone. That line about it takes a village, it really is true.

“What if I can’t afford it?” Do you really need or want 12 packages of bodysuits & socks, 2 dozen plastic electric toys the baby isn’t going to play with anyway, a bunch of matchy matchy outfits that the baby might wear once? Be upfront about what you do need and want. Ask for donations to your doula or breastfeeding fund at your shower, a gift certificate for a postpartum massage, ask for your friends to bring their local resources to your shower. People really do want to give you what you need, but will default to the big box baby store if you don’t tell them. Also, many doulas and other birth professionals are wiling to barter or to work on a sliding scale. Many don’t advertise this, but if you ask they will tell you.

The more prepared you are for birth & postpartum, the more positive your experience is likely to be. Yes it’s work, but so is parenting. Give yourself the tools to get there. You are worth it.