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“What can I gift my doula?”

December 4, 2014 by Angela Leave a Comment

I saw this question from a soon to be mom on Facebook this week. This was my answer:

“#1-Send back evaluation forms if you are given one, write a testimonial for her, offer to be on her referral list for future families, refer her to pregnant people you love, send pics, invite to first birthday. Yes, those are all listed under #1.

Anything else is gravy.”

Of course, it’s absolutely lovely to receive a small, deeply meaningful gift from a family.

Gifts from generous families I've had the honor to support as a doula.

But what better gift than to help a doula grow her business? Every suggestion costs the birthing family only a bit of their time, yet is invaluable to the doula. Ok, except an additional place at the first birthday party. We thrive on our families networking for us with referrals and testimonials, helping us with our certification evaluations, and spreading doula love in general. The best gift of all is when a family reaches out to say, “We’re pregnant again! Are you available?”

So if you have decided to invest in the support of a doula for your birth, and I hope you do, be sure to help her grow. This gift is priceless.

Filed Under: doula Tagged With: birth, doula, labor, pregnancy

Creating a Birth Plan

July 18, 2012 by Angela 1 Comment

Coming to your care provider or place of birth with a birth plan in hand isn’t as uncommon as it once was 10-15 years ago. You even find auto-generating birth plans and outlines all over the internet. In reality, most birth plans (or wishes or desires, however you word it) are pretty similar.  Most women want to be left to labor & birth  with the least amount of intervention, with the people they feel most close to and will give the most support, and to keep their babies close after the birth. Pretty simple, right?

That being said there are still care providers who scoff & huff at the idea of planning or asking for anything at birth. I was on a hospital tour with a client recently where the nurse actually laughed & said, “Good Luck with that!” It took us all by surprise, like, did we hear her correctly?

There are a few ways to help your birth plan be read by the hospital staff on duty when you come in for your birth.

  • Double check your content. Leave out things like “I’d like to labor at home as long as possible.” You’re already left your home so you’ve likely already done this.  Or “I’d like to discuss induction methods if I am to have a scheduled  induction of labor.” This is a conversation you are more likely to have during an appointment with your provider and should be on a separate list to discuss with your provider.  Also, when you are not birthing at home you will need to take into account what is available to you at the birthing facility you’ve chosen.  You can’t ask to labor in a tub if the facility doesn’t have tubs for laboring.  Doing this kind of editing will help the next point.
  • Keep your plan as short as possible. Write out what you feel are the the most important points. This way you can try to keep your plan to a single page. The less there is to read the more likely the staff will be willing to read it.
  • Ensure you aren’t repeating yourself through the document.
  • Try to keep your plan organized. If the person reading it doesn’t jump from how you’d like to labor to delaying initial immunizations, to how you’d like to push, they will be more likely to read and follow through with your wishes.
  • Consider writing separate plans for a cesarean birth, care for baby while in the hospital for the postpartum period or in the event the baby’s health is compromised.

So why bother writing a plan if no one will read it? Well, someone will read it, but the most important reason to write it out is that it creates a dialog between you, your partner, your doula, & your care providers. You can hash out what policies you can’t get around at your birthing facility and which  might have a little wiggle room.  There may be something you hadn’t thought about before that may change your thoughts on a procedure or practice. You and your partner may find that you don’t see eye to eye on a particular event, procedure or policy. This gives you time to talk about and research these things well before they might become a reality.  No, you can’t predict the outcome of birth, but you can talk about the many facets & be prepared for most eventualities so that in the moment you feel confident to discuss and move on to the next step.

Filed Under: birth, doula, Labor, Pregnancy Tagged With: advocacy, birth, birth plan, doula, education, labor, parenting, pregnancy

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