Beau Choix

NVC-Check!

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I promised to hold myself publicly accountable to my To-Do list for this year. So here’s a little update.

I set up a new website & email  for the coming cloth diaper group. I also found someone to help me sort out some issues I had with the reworking of my doula site.

Several blog posts in the hopper, just need time to sit & flesh them out. Difficult to do with a toddler underfoot most of the time.

I completed the Birth Story Listening course a couple of weeks ago. That was hard, deep, intense work. Every conference call I felt like I was holding my breath for the entire call. The listening itself was difficult and I appreciate every momma who shared their story with me for this course.

I finally finished reading Nonviolent Communication (NVC for short).  A little more work to do & I should finally be a full Real Diaper Circle Leader well before the Great Cloth Diaper Change this year. This is also a very difficult book to read & put into practice, but it should have come to no surprise that this book corresponds to the work I was doing with Birth Story Listening and the communications work I am doing for my Childbirth International courses. When you delve down deep and truly put into practice deep listening, compassionate feedback and can fully express your needs so your listener understands what you need from a conversation, it is life changing. It’s not easy & unless you’ve been practicing your entire life it’s not even something that you can do all the time. It’s work in progress. And that is life, work in progress.

I don’t pretend to hold all the answers, I just do my best to hold the space to find them.

And with that play-doh calls.

Visible Change

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Most everyone talks about the changes they will make at the beginning of each year. Life inevitable gets in the way & most of us fall into our normal routines pretty quickly. It’s much the same in our work lives. Most of us have the best of intentions, really. In fact I hesitated even posting this, my first post of the new year because I didn’t want to post unrealistic goals & why it’s almost the end of the month before I’ve actually hit publish.

This year I decided would be my year for Visible Change.

The first is easy. I’m going to continue to wear my baby. She’s 2 years old now, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be worn. Why? Well, besides the fact that she’s a tiny peanut with short legs many times I hear or read of parents who quit babywearing because their baby got “too big” at 4, 5, 8 months old. If you have the correct carrier and wear it correctly, you can safely babywear until your child is around 40 lbs. Know your carrier, know your baby. You will find that you and your baby are happier when you can stay close, especially when your baby can tell you they want to be close!

Oh yes, I will continue to breastfeed and breastfeed in public. Yes my child is 2 and yes she still breastfeeds and yes I still feed her when she asks most of the time. I know when she’s just bored & asking for the sake of asking. I also know when she has a genuine need. It’s biologically normal and we will continue until she decides she’s outgrown her need, same as my other two children.

I will take better care of myself in order to take better care of my family and my clients.

As a Birth Professional I will continue to work with, not against my client’s care providers. I will be the face of doulas everywhere so that those who come after me will not have to clean up after me. I will be kind and respectful at all times. I will not be a doormat. I will show what constant support is in labor and how it is beneficial to birthing families regardless of how they  birth.

I will bring the doula magic to every birth: Being, Listening, Touching, Holding & Believing,  Fully, Completely and Without Reservation or Hesitation.

I will continue to support breastfeeding mothers. Period.

I will finish up my courses that have been almost finished for entirely too long. First it was the baby, then it was the deployment, then the move, but now, no more excuses. I’ve put much of it into practice already, but I will finish out the last of the courses. And I will continue to find opportunities for continuing education.

With that I will set up Childbirth Education &  Breastfeeding classes. Women deserve to have a veritable smorgasbord of classes to choose from as not every woman births the same. There should be many offerings outside the traditional hospital based classes. Mothers and their partners deserve classes that can be fine tuned to what they need. I will also re-establish a Breastfeeding Support Group & a Cloth Diapering Circle.

I will once again host the Great Cloth Diaper Change & finish my Real Cloth Diaper Leader training.

So yes, some of this is more of the same, but it’s my commitment to staying the course even though I’ve done much of it before. It’s why I’m combining a few personal goals with my professional goals. I’m hoping that when others see what I’m doing that they will not be afraid to show some of the same visibility.  Walkin’ my Talk. Hold me to it. I will post updates to the website, the blog and social media. How will your community see your visible change?

Starting Out, Starting Over

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It’s not always easy when you’re just getting started regardless of your chosen vocation. It can be just as bumpy to start over whether it’s a new job, a relocation, a change in your family situation or the result of a break in time be it intended or not. I’ve done all of these in the short 4+ years since becoming a doula. I’ve moved across the Atlantic, twice, weathered the complete upheaval to the maternity care of the women I was attending, had an entire year without one single client following a very busy year, given birth to a 3rd child & was a single parent for almost 2 years while my husband was out of the country. In that time I’ve still managed to attend 19 births.

I’m always mindful of stepping on toes when I’m faced with these changing situations. I’m not as outgoing as I am, say, socially-tending to hang back a bit & assess what is going on. Find out where I fit best. Many new birth pros want to jump in with both feet & are discouraged when throngs of new parents aren’t knocking down their door. This excitement is inevitable, but so many with great potential crash & burn out this way.

Birthing a business is very much like birth itself. After a lot of research about the options in your community, there’s often a period of sitting back to wait & watch. When faced with starting out or a big change it’s a great time to work on the little things. Things like tweak your website, delve into a blog or a piece of social media you haven’t tried yet, network with other birth pros and other related fields, expand your services, take a class, go to a conference, read some new books, whatever. I’m not saying don’t get out there & look for clients, but what I am saying is be easy on yourself. Birth work is exhausting, physically & mentally. Don’t exhaust yourself looking to fill up every free spot on your calender. It’s not important to have a full schedule from the get-go. As you get to know your community, they will get to know you. One call will turn into 2 & a referral & pretty soon you’ll wonder why you ever worried about finding clients.