I debated whether or not to blog about this day, but it’s a part of who I am as a doula.

We left Northern Virginia, where we lived just a few miles from the Pentagon, one month and one day before the attacks.  We, like so many others, watched in horror as the day unfolded. The days turned into weeks and months. We waited as the days went on, wondering if we would get the phone call recalling my husband from his graduate studies back to “real” active duty. But the months passed and slowly we let out our collective breath.

And then our follow on assignment came taking us to Germany. As the details were sent, our fears came true and we learned that almost as soon as we arrived, my husband would be heading to the Middle East.  And so there I was, in a new country living in my Germany community with two small children, alone.

I was a part of several online communities with other women who were also military spouses. I read story after story of women delivering babies alone, parenting alone.  The stories that touched me the deepest were moms like me, across an ocean from the people wanted to be with during such a transformational period. I read about Operation Special Delivery & thought that this was something I needed to be doing.

After my husband returned from his deployment we were told we’d be returning to the States. It was then I decided I would train to be a doula. Yes, part of my decision was my own birth history, but it was the women who were keeping the home fires burning thousands of miles from what they considered home who were my biggest motivation.  We returned yet again to Germany months after my training & the one birth I managed to put under my belt and I hit the ground running.

My husband has just returned from yet another deployment to the Middle East. I’ve spent the last year attending births, leading breastfeeding support groups & teaching new parents while trying to balance being a single homeschooling mom of 3 while being overseas.  It has been one of the most difficult years of my life. But I wouldn’t change it. It’s times like these that challenge me, that cement the woman I’ve become.

Now we’ve returned to Virginia, to the same area we left 10 years ago. It’s very surreal to be here to mark this anniversary under these circumstances.

The wars that have ensued from 9-11 are the longest in US history and show no sign of ending any time soon. That’s a lot of women birthing alone.  No one should birth alone. This is my motivation.

A doula for every woman.